it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize