My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
