he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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