i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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