my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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