Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
