Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
