im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
