i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
