I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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