Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
