my soul wont recognize me after tonight
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
