he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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