Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
