I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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