Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
