I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
