I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
