OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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