I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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