Non-Jews are for practice
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
