I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
