theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're like the curious george of whores
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
