Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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