I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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