The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize