he wants to bone in the snuggie
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
