Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We named our party play list daddy issues
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
