i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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