Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome