Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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  (714): dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes" http://tfl.nu/s663
  Replies (39) Good night (3997) Bad night (680)
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  (845): View more from New York

  First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

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  (845): First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio... http://tfl.nu/v0nt
  Replies (39) Good night (1065) Bad night (4412)
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  (650): View more from California

  Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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  (650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml
  Replies (40) Good night (5856) Bad night (1585)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things

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  (847): We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things http://tfl.nu/jwjz
  Replies (7) Good night (3353) Bad night (1024)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?

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  (515): you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night? http://tfl.nu/cew2
  Replies (17) Good night (4040) Bad night (1305)
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  (760): View more from California

  I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

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  (760): I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window. http://tfl.nu/drwy
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (2209)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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  (480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (727)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?

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  (720): The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer? http://tfl.nu/dm5m
  Replies (8) Good night (570) Bad night (843)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done

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  (405): I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done http://tfl.nu/3aup
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (539)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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  (215): I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack? http://tfl.nu/k7vl
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (307)
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  (+33): View more from France

  Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.

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  (+33): Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper. http://tfl.nu/xgzc
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (461)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum

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  (913): I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum http://tfl.nu/ad9i
  Replies (8) Good night (1147) Bad night (327)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand

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  (802): My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand http://tfl.nu/akgx
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (269)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.

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  (678): Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature. http://tfl.nu/4fv9
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (262)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?

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  (586): Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge? http://tfl.nu/4sxt
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (139)

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