there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He passed out mid-signature
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.