What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
