Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

HIV tests are more positive than that guy

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(917): HIV tests are more positive than that guy http://tfl.nu/rakl

Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (1580)
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(517): View more from Michigan

and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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(517): and trust me i need no booty pop lessons http://tfl.nu/h5fy

Replies (2) Good night (2184) Bad night (1373)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o

Replies (9) Good night (998) Bad night (2081)
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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(212): Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did! http://tfl.nu/gcyx

Replies (26) Good night (4146) Bad night (857)
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(858): View more from California

So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?

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(858): So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/poyg

Replies (18) Good night (1581) Bad night (3560)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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(502): you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty... http://tfl.nu/96t1

Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (3611)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

have you facebook stalked him yet?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

No, I don’t know his last name...

(803): View more from South Carolina

Just google his license plate numb

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(803): have you facebook stalked him yet? (1-803): No, I don’t know his last name... (803): Just google his license plate numb http://tfl.nu/nn7i

Replies (20) Good night (1238) Bad night (3982)
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(317): View more from Indiana

my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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(317): my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys.... http://tfl.nu/ljba

Replies (6) Good night (3069) Bad night (1061)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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(757): I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/7g7n

Replies (4) Good night (3039) Bad night (995)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex

(773): View more from Illinois

SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?

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(617): So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex (773): SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard? http://tfl.nu/5vnv

Replies (22) Good night (3594) Bad night (928)
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(425): View more from Washington

UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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(425): UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD http://tfl.nu/7k7x

Replies (9) Good night (2644) Bad night (803)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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(306): No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit. http://tfl.nu/ncdk

Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (693)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.

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(410): Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it. http://tfl.nu/r2m1

Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (716)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.

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(860): Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible. http://tfl.nu/baf8

Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (506)
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(713): View more from Texas

The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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(713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5

Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (408)

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