OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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