That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i dont even know how to be here
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
