id be glad to
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
