No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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