I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
