you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
