Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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