I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
smell my finger.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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