Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want nice things and good sex
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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