I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
