maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
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Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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