goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
