Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
