Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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