I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
