My brain says no but my pants say off.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize