Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
