Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
