Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
