My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
that may or may not have been my penis.
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