Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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