I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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