Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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