I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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