If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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