At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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