we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
did i walk over a car last night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
