I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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