i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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