I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
