how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
