I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
