I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
