well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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