I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
